Haven of the Damned
by peoplewillsaywereinlove
Summary: When Clarice is shunned by the FBI, all she has left is a lonely house in the forest and the memories that plague her mind. Yet, it is her mind that becomes her biggest enemy. Clarice must take control of her own life; can she accept the love and guidance of her demon, Dr. Hannibal Lecter, or has he just been another cruel mind trick?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, and thank you for stumbling upon my second fanfiction. This story takes place after the beginning of****_ Hannibal_****. Yet, in this story, Clarice is put on paid leave after the Evelda Drumgo shooting. Her house has also been altered. All characters and past story-line are property of Thomas Harris ; current story-line is mine. Please read and review. I appreciate any feedback. Thank you!**

**-Anna, **_peoplewillsaywereinlove_

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Puddles formed endlessly in the front of the wooden porch; the weatherman had declared the thunderstorm the new temporary neighbor of the northeast. The rain fell hard throughout the week, making it nearly impossible to reach the front porch without getting my shoes soaking wet. The lake near the front of my house was becoming twice its normal size; soon, I thought, the road leading to my house would become flooded. But I was too tired to worry about that right now. I made a cup of the green tea that had been sitting in the cupboard for weeks, and fixed myself a sandwich.

I had gotten use to rain outside; I thought of it like a faithful friend. I grabbed my so-called dinner and sat in rickety wooden chair on the porch. I watched a small drop of water hanging from the roof, vibrating to the thumping of the rain on the covering. I ate my sandwich in silence, while the tea became lukewarm. I tried my best to forget this day's events, but it would play like a movie in my mind.

Mr. Crawford thought it would be good idea to suspend me for a couple of weeks after the mess I had caused. I had pleaded my case, but no matter what I would say, and even though I had done exactly what the FBI had trained me to do, I had been shunned by my coworkers. I had been isolated from the only source of normalcy in my life.

A rain of blood, flooding my mind: the blood of Evelda Drumgo. I had killed before, many times, but that was regrettably part of my job.

God damn it all. The blood wouldn't wash off, would it?

But no matter what I did, I was always a monster. Others saw me as an accomplice to a monster. Others saw me as the bride of Dracula, Satan's concubine, and whatever else the Bureau could make up about me. It had happened seven years ago, but that didn't matter. I had saved the life of a kidnapped woman, with help from the devil himself. Soon the media tore me apart, and I knew I would always be known as the Cannibal's lover.

My eyes stung from the hour I took crying in front of Ardelia. I didn't want to seem weak, but it didn't matter anymore. She promised to come by later this week, making sure I would be okay. As much I wanted someone here with me, I told her not to worry. I knew she was working on another case, and I didn't want to disturb anyone else.

The plastic box containing most of my supplies still stood as a reminder in the hallway inside. Note to self; hide as soon as possible. I pushed my legs up into my chest, rocking the wooden chair a bit faster with the humid wind. I could feel my messy hair, an unwashed knotted mess. The headache drilled harder into my head. The ibuprofen seemed useless. I had no idea what time it was; the clouds had been dark the entire day.

It soon became too chilly for my thin pajamas, and I entered the small house. I looked about the small living room, filled with a simple couch and an extra loveseat for the non-existing guest. Papers adorned every table in the house, including the two person dinner table in the kitchen. It seemed I never really had time to organize everything in the house. I smiled bitterly to myself; I now had time. The clock in the kitchen read ten o' clock; I knew that if I went to sleep now, I wouldn't be able to rest. My mind usually kept me up on regular nights, and tonight, it would happen yet again.

A scratching at the door echoed throughout the house. I couldn't see anyone in the doorway, but the scratching continued. I almost reached for my gun, sitting in the box in the hallway, but soon, another noise calmed my nerves. A meow escaped the cat's mouth, now propped up against the entrance. It was black, and its eyes were a deep amber color. I couldn't help but feel a little less lonely. I opened the door to a very grateful male cat, rubbing its coat on my pajama pants.

"Well, aren't you a pretty little thing", I proclaimed, picking up the soft cat into my arms. He replied with a soft meowing sound, as I walked to the kitchen. I put him down as I found my last can of tuna in the pantry. The little cat was silent as it ate every last morsel. Tempted, I pet him as he finished his meal.

The clocked chimed; it was midnight, and the rain was a soft trickle outside the windows. As I climbed the stairs to my bedroom, the black cat trailed behind me, meowing energetically. Seems like I had made a friend.

I flipped my bedroom light, yet darkness followed.

"Shit", I swore loudly in the dark, trying to find my way toward my dresser. I usually had spare light bulbs in the bottom drawer. I kneeled down, looking into the drawer with the little illumination coming from the nightlight in the bathroom.

The cat had crawled to the corner of my bedroom, toward the ragged chair. He started purring deeply. I tried seeing where he was but I couldn't make him out. My heart started beating fast against my chest, as the smell of fine men's cologne filled my nostrils. It smelled of morning dew, the allure of a forest, and the rest was man. It was intoxicating.

I was not alone.

Still crouched near the drawer, I reached toward my leg, where the small but deadly pocketknife slept soundly. The moment I touched the cold steel, a low piercing voice tore through the silence of the night. The strong purr did not come from the cat.

"Oh, now that wouldn't be very wise, wouldn't you think so…Clarice?"

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**Please Read and Review. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi there! I would like to take this opportunity to thank those that have read and reviewed my fanfic. I appreciate all your feedback and comments. I take them into consideration when writing.**

**Again, thanks to everyone that has reviewed and read my story. You really do give me inspiration. Now enough of my ranting and on with chapter 2! Enjoy!**

* * *

I didn't need any light to know who now resided in the dark corner. His voice had been tattooed into my mind seven years ago, and had never escaped. It was a deep-cutting knife, sending waves of fear over my body. I remember being frightened, but stubborn when it came to questioning him so long ago; yet, in this moment, I was shaking. I was surprised when my own voice timidly spoke.

"Dr. Lecter...good evening."

The calmness in my voice surprised him, as I could feel his mouth turn into a grin. My mind was racing to think of my next move, but my legs were numb.

"Good evening, Clarice. Courteous, like always," he purred. A bright shot of lightning flashed in the window. I could see his silhouette, his teeth barred in a smirk. It was that coy smile I had seen before behind the thick glass. I could see he had aged slightly; some wrinkles etched his face. He must have been 50, more or less. There was one thing that hadn't changed however; his smile still made me shudder.

"You look a bit thin. Have you been eating well?" he asked, seemingly concerned. "You have become quite famous, Clarice. Of course, you are not very grateful for that."

"Dr. Lecter, as much as I would like to talk about my life…What in God's name are you doing here?" I asked, trying to seem as courageous as I could. A small laugh escaped his lips.

"I thought that was pretty obvious. I wanted to visit my beloved friend. It has been a while…don't you think? And by the look of it, you could use a little companionship…"

I could feel his eyes looking straight into mine. My headache drilled into my mind sharply, making it hard to keep up a tough appearance.

"I'm dreaming. I probably took too much Advil. This…", now looking into the dark silhouette," must be a dream."

"You are well aware I do not like to disappoint, but this, my dear, is not a dream. Though I am flattered you would think of this like that", he stated.

My head dropped, looking into the worn rug on the floor. Dr. Hannibal Lecter, cannibalistic murderer and FBI's most wanted madman, was in my bedroom. He was in my house. My mind swam painfully; if anyone found out he was here, I could never show my face in the Bureau again. I could never show my face in public again.

Why? Why was he doing this? Obviously for his amusement, but he knew it was extremely risky for him to come back to the Americas. Why risk it all now?

" …You can't be here. You know you can't…"

"Oh I think I should be. I do consider you a dear friend. At times, a friend needs help, Clarice. I want to be here for you."

My knees gave in beneath me, my body falling unto the soft rug. The sleep that hadn't come in years fell over me like the rain falling outside.

* * *

The delicious smell filled the space before me. My head was feeling a little less like a drum, but my body was groggy from sleep. I opened my eyes slightly; the rain was pouring outside. Shocking, I thought, but I was happy to see it still falling. My bed seemed softer than usual, comfier and more inviting. I slowly remembered fainting last night; how did I get into my bed?

Something wonderful was filling the house quickly. My eyes bolted open.

One name roared in my mind: Dr. Lecter.

I quickly put on my slippers and ran quietly down the stairs. I was praying, begging, to a god I didn't believe in. I wanted it all to be some hallucination.

A panic seized my body at the sight of the dark silhouette, dressed in a fine suit, cooking near the stove. He turned around before I could even move.

"Ah, Clarice. Just in time. Come, sit", he stated, pointing to the table.

I didn't dare disobey him, as I walked cautiously toward the kitchen. Sitting down on the farthest chair away from him, I could feel him becoming frustrated. I would have felt a bit safer if I had my gun. To my disappointment, I couldn't see it in the plastic box in the hallway. Damn. Nothing could escape this man.

"I am an honest man, Clarice. I said, many years ago, that I would never hurt you. I have kept my promise, haven't I? A little trust can be asked of the great Special Agent Starling", he proclaimed, smiling from the stove. He was plating something that smelled exquisite.

God, Starling, that's probably brains or something of that sort. My stomach grumbled in disagreement.

Dr. Lecter approached me, placing one of my own plates in front of me. A perfect omelet and a side of the leftover sausage in the fridge were placed before me. It smelled mouth-watering. I wanted to dig in, but I looked at Dr. Lecter for reassurance.

"No, Clarice. That's not a patient of mine, or a rude friend of yours. You can enjoy it calmly." He sat down gracefully on the end of the table. I was so hungry; I couldn't resist the plate in front of me. I ate in silence, as his eyes surveyed me like a lion watches its prey. I finished quickly, thanking him quietly. I looked up to him, the dark maroon eyes digging deep into mine. I kept steadfast, ignoring my rushing scarlet in my cheeks.

"You're welcome, Clarice. Did you sleep better? Do the lambs still scream?" This was a sincere question; I could tell in his eyes.

"Not last night. I slept better than I have in years. Wait…you didn't drug me, right? ", I asked, hoping he hadn't put anything in my system.

"Don't worry, my dear, that was not of my doing. I just kept you company", he grinned.

"Did you stay there all night?" I asked, still looking straight into his eyes.

"Of course, Clarice. You fainted quite deeply; I wouldn't leave you alone on such a beautiful night."

A sigh escaped my lips. "Thank you, Doctor." His response was true smile.

I didn't really want to ask him to elaborate his ambiguity, so I quickly changed the subject. I needed to know why he was really here, and what he wanted with me. I was always a little game for him, but approaching me at this time is pure foolishness.

"Dr. Lecter, why are you truly here?"

He seemed intrigued by this question.

"I had some business with an old colleague in the south, nothing serious. And like I said, I knew you could need a little company."

It seemed useless to badger him more with questions, so I fell silent. I hadn't even looked at clock since I had awoken. It was 6 p.m. I tried to hide my shock, but I realized that was useless too. The man in front of me saw everything.

"Why didn't you wake me up sooner, Doctor?"

"I wanted to let you sleep, Clarice. You seemed at peace", he declared.

"They'll find you, Doctor. You know that. It's not safe here. Crawford will probably come, or Ardelia will notice something's up. You're in danger", I declared, trying to get him to understand.

"You won't turn me in, however. You wouldn't give the Bureau a grand gift after what they've done to you. You're wise", he professed.

"I could though, Doctor. I could at any moment. Oh, God... I don't know…", I trailed off, massaging my forehead.

Why the hell won't I turn him in? He's insane, Starling, and you're still an agent. It is your place. But I knew, deep in my mind, I don't think I could call Mr. Crawford. I was well aware he was a madman, but Dr. Lecter was the only one that still respected me. Even after all I had done for the FBI, I was still an office girl for them. I wasn't a vengeful person, but turning in just felt wrong.

The black cat, rubbing itself on my leg, situated himself on my feet. He was warm.

"Clarice…."

I looked up to him, waiting for him to continue. There was no trail of humor in his voice.

"Am I not a man?", he asked seriously. It seemed he was waiting for me to answer.

"Y-Yes…", I answered mildly.

"And although people say I am a monster, I do feel just like any other man. And for these past seven years, I have felt a twinge of guilt. Your situation is because of me. Although I did think it was amusing, that amusement led to the slow demise of your career. I know you are weary of my intrusion into your life, but I assure you, it will be beneficial. I will leave soon, no worries. I just wanted to serve as a companion for you. I owe you at least my presence. I could help clear your busy mind, clear it from the madness of this life, even if it's just for a short time. What do you say to that, Clarice?"

I couldn't help but be fixated by his words, carefully hearing his proposition. Part of me knew this was insanity itself, but the other part wanted to trust him.

I wasn't alone all the time. I had Ardelia, practically a sister to me. But even she was swamped with work, and I felt like a burden every time I called. Could I stand the loneliness that was to come?

I didn't want to use Dr. Lecter. My mind wanted Dr. Lecter here.

Starling, you're an idiot.

I know that, thanks, I shouted mentally to myself.

"Dr. Lecter…how can I trust you?" I asked openly. The small kitchen was growing dark; the only noise in the house was the patter of rain on the wooden roof. The cat had fallen asleep on my feet. His answer was swiftly given.

"I treasure you more than you could understand, Clarice."

I looked at him, seeing any traces of lies in his eyes. But I knew he never lied to me. I knew this was true. I sighed softly. My heart was betraying my common sense.

It seemed like the cat would not be the only new guest in the house.

I didn't want to think about anything. I didn't want to think about the fact that the Dr. Lecter was in my house. Did he really want to help? Or would this be just another toy for his boredom?

I excused myself from the table, washed my plate and walked up the stairs. I was so tired.

I found myself in the window of my bedroom. The window was made up of two glass doors leading to a small patio overlooking the forest. It was one of the main reasons I bought this house a couple of years ago. During the summer, the sun could be seen setting off into the trees. It was a small beauty, but it was something I looked forward to after the long nights at the Bureau.

I had bought two wood chairs that fit nicely into the small terrace. I opened the door, flinching at the cold air coming from the falling rain. Thankfully the chairs were dry under the small roof.

The sky was pitch black, the trees creating tall shadows in the night. The rain was music. My mind was swimming again consisting of old memories, of better times than the one I currently couldn't escape. The only happier memory was my father.

I don't know how long I was outside alone. The door of the window opened quietly. Dr. Lecter stood near me, but at a distance. I could smell his cologne mix with the smell of the rain. It was calming.

"Upon this Primrose hill,  
Where, if heaven would distil  
A shower of rain, each several drop might go  
To his own primrose, and grow manna so"

His voice resounded against the trees softly. His eyes met mine.

"Donne always had a way with words", I smiled.

"A true artist, Clarice. I did not know you were a Donne enthusiast", he stated.

"We all need a way of escaping, don't we?", I said, looking out at the trees again. I couldn't help but feel safer with him near me.

Starling, something is clearly wrong with you. I didn't know what to answer back to myself.

A cup of tea was held out before me. It smelled differently than the generic tea I usually bought. I took it into my hands, thanking Dr. Lecter sincerely.

I wanted him here…didn't I?

The rain washed over the trees before us, as the night became darker. He never left my side.

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**_THE PRIMROSE, BEING AT MONTGOMERY CASTLE  
UPON THE HILL, ON WHICH IT IS SITUATE._****  
Poem belonging to the great John Donne, copyright 1896.**

**Please R&R! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

My hands were full of blood. I didn't know whose it was until I saw the crying baby in front of me. But it was not hurt; the corpse behind it had a hole in its head, Evelda's eyes shut tight with caked blood. My head started to drill again, like a drum, the pain bringing me to my knees in the cold dirt. The baby wouldn't stop crying.  
There was nothing around, just darkness. I tried moving but my head spun with the smallest movements.  
I was panicking. I couldn't speak, or function at all.  
I tried reaching out for the baby, my hand touching cold air.

I hadn't noticed the darker shadow looming over me. It grew larger and larger; I dared to turn around.

Dr. Lecter stood over, his lean chest bare. His lower torso grew into darkness, into the dirt. My mouth dropped as dark demon-like wings protruded out of his back. A terrifying grin appeared on his lips, his teeth white against the rest of his body. I was shaking uncontrollably ,as his wings engulfed me.

The human baby's screams changed to the screaming of slaughtered lambs.

* * *

My sheets were soaked with sweat; it took me a couple of minutes to start breathing normally again. I should've been used to these dreams by now. They weren't new to me, and I really shouldn't be so surprised. The lambs usually made their grim appearance, but Dr. Lecter's form left a new burn in my mind.

Nights were drawn out with these nightmares, but I could typically go back to sleep. But tonight, that dream just repeated itself in my mind for hours. I had dreamed of him before, but I had never seen him in that way.

I quickly shut the image out of mind. My head ached so painfully, it was hard to get up from the bed. The clock on my bedside table read 4:13 a.m. I looked toward the corner, where I saw Dr. Lecter sit only a couple hours before. The space was empty.

I crawled out of my bed, out into the hallway, to an empty house. He was nowhere to be seen. The cat had followed me downstairs, making the silence of the night a little more bearable with his meowing. I could tell whenever someone else was in the house easily; any presence other than my own could be felt in such a small house. I knew I was the only one here.

His words echoed in my mind. I was believing them, weren't I? I was trusting him.

Then where was he?

I went into the bathroom, finding the first aid box in the cabinet. Rolls of gauze and makeshift string for stitches were placed among the Tylenol and Advil bottles. I wish I had something stronger, I thought, as I picked up the Advil bottle. I didn't know if I had a migraine or just stress, but the aching wasn't leaving.

_Oh Starling, get over it. You were put off for a while. It's not the end of the world._

_But it was for Evelda._

Shut up, oh God, shut up, I yelled at the other voice in my head. I looked in the bathroom mirror.

Dr. Lecter had been right, I was thinner. I guess I hadn't noticed over the years. My hair had been in a ponytail for such a long time that my hair had become wavy, but not any more glamorous. The dark circles under my eyes were screaming for some real sleep again.

I found my bed once more; I was frightened to go back to sleep, frightened to see that nightmare again, but my tired body disagreed. The cat jumped into the foot of my bed, and I could feel myself feel a bit more relaxed. I looked into its amber eyes. Midnight.

I think I'll call him Midnight.

* * *

Four days had passed since Dr. Lecter had appeared in my bedside chair. I could feel myself become worried for his safety, for his whereabouts. It was if my mind had forgotten of his dark nature, and thought of him as any colleague. I made sure to remind myself what he truly was.

The thunderstorm was gone, now leaving behind a trail of dark clouds. Rays of sun were coming through the cracks in the sky. I missed the rain.

It was a warm Friday afternoon. I was trying to make myself busy, cleaning the house and organizing the endless amount of papers. The ache in my head was down to a low thud. I was getting a bit worried lately; my head wouldn't let up. Maybe a visit to a doctor wouldn't hurt. I knew it wasn't something serious, a stress related aching, but I knew I should have checked it out days ago.

Midnight sat on the porch, watching the few cars drive by in the street. I looked at the piles of papers in the living room; this could take a while, I thought, as I started throwing away useless papers. Years of small cases etched into the white pages. Memories of fighting my way through the Bureau laid before me on the table. Since the Buffalo Bill case, it seemed like I would have had a promising career. I had my hopes too high. And I held that case on a pedestal. Instead of honor, I received envy, bitterness, and contempt. The only people that appreciated me were my own old roommate Ardelia, and Mr. Crawford. You'd think people would respect me because the head honcho did, but that was never the instance. I was a joke.

I had to stop putting away all the junk. I didn't want to get frustrated again. It was near five; I hadn't gotten much done.

_Surprising, Starling. Be useful, for God's sake._

Footsteps were sounding on the front porch; Midnight started meowing gently. A dark woman was approaching my house. I couldn't see very well who it was through the murky-colored screen door. As she came nearer, my mind couldn't believe my eyes. The bundle of papers I was holding fell unto the ground.

It was Evelda Drumgo.

_No, Starling. Evelda's in the ground, because of you._

My heart beat in the tune of the thud in my head. The shadow approached the door, knocking once, then twice. I was starting to panic, freezing in my seat. It wasn't until the shadow spoke that I my fear died down.

"Clarice? Clarice, are you in there? Open up!," Ardelia called.

* * *

I opened the creaking door to a worried Ardelia, looking at me as if she'd seen a ghost. I could always count on her being honest with me.

"What the-…..Clarice, what's going on with you? Have you been sleeping? And eating, for that matter?", she asked nervously. I welcomed her inside.

"I'm fine. Everything has been fine. Just working on some papers, you know, keeping myself busy", I responded with a small smile. I had to make sure Ardelia wasn't going to worry about me. But she didn't seem to believe me.

"You can't lie to me, girl. You should know that. I'm sorry I didn't come by sooner. You won't believe the amount of work Crawford's been making us do. Look, I brought you something sweet. I knew you could need something to pep you up", she proclaimed, holding a full plastic bag.

A large gallon of mint chocolate ice cream kept my stomach happy as Ardelia and I sat on the porch exchanging stories. I felt 25 again, sharing a miniature room and feeling free. But soon, that feeling diminished as she asked me what I had been trying to avoid.

"Clarice, seriously…how have you been? I still can't believe what they did to you. I tried going to Crawford personally but the other bastards wouldn't let me through."

"I've been…alright. Crawford did what he could in this situation. It's the best thing anyway. The media would've finished me off if I'd continued. I've been fine, to be honest. Just trying to catch up on sleep. I see you've met Midnight," I smiled as the cat now snuggled next to Ardelia's boots.

"He's a gem. Clarice, don't change the subject. The circles under those eyes can't lie to me either. You're eating, right?"

"Of course, Ardelia, I'm not like that. I can take care of myself."

"Hmm…Look, just be careful. Take care of yourself more than the usual, alright? These things that happen to us…sometimes you can't control what the effect they do to you. I'm just saying, if you ever need anything, you know I'll always be here. I don't ever leave family behind."

I must have really been sick, since I could feel tears accumulating in my eyes. I made sure not to cry in front of Ardelia, though. I hadn't smiled genuinely in a while.

"Thanks, girl."

My throat hurt at the start of the words that were about to come out. I wanted to tell her everything that had happened four days ago, and everything he had said. But something else told me that was a bad idea. Worried about my own safety, Ardelia would tell Mr. Crawford, and soon I would be stuck in witness protection. I had to be honest with myself, however: I wasn't even sure if the whole event had happened.

_Let's keep our mouth shut, Starling._

Ardelia was waiting for me to speak, but I just took another bite of the ice cream. She hadn't noticed the sweat on my brow.

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	4. Chapter 4

The house felt colder after Ardelia had left. I was surprised that I had eaten every bit of ice cream out of the gallon. I hadn't eaten since the small bits of cheese I had eaten the day before. Ardelia left a few more groceries, and an extra phone number to call her in any emergency. Seeing her leave was surprisingly difficult.

I went back to where I had been sitting with Ardelia, now an empty seat in front of me. If only I could be driving back to the Bureau with her, too.

I spent the rest of the day with my second attempt at cleaning the mess of a living room. Midnight watched from the stairs, trailing over each paper thrown in the garbage. I found resolved case files of minor cases everywhere, mostly drug raids and the occasional missing suspects. Nothing big had happened in seven years; Evelda was supposed to be my comeback.

The sun had set long, as I realized I hadn't really moved in hours. I could smell the air become humid; the clouds outside the main window seemed darker than the night sky. The only I had was from the lamp next to me, the other corners of the house as dark as the clouds. I looked toward the kitchen, wondering about the man I thought had appeared there, smelling of fine cologne and dew.

_Honestly, Starling. Missing a cannibal? More like missing a hallucination. Get something stronger than Tylenol._

It was as if that voice didn't speak, but drilled into my mind. And whenever it spoke, my head drilled with an unexplainable pain. I had to remind myself to make a doctor's appointment. I didn't want to admit it, but I was scared. I was scared of what I have been seeing, what I've been feeling. What was wrong with me?

I laid my back against the couch, looking outside the window once more. The familiar dripping sound of rain was starting to sound on the sill. I closed my eyes, listening to the comforting sound. For a second, I ignored every pain I felt.

My feet eventually raised my body up from the couch, knowing I should take a bath before bed. Midnight meowed sharply, rubbing himself on my legs. I stopped in the kitchen for a few minutes.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry, Midnight," I said, as I opened some ham from the fridge. "I promise, tomorrow I'll get some real food for you."

The walk up the stairs was surprisingly hard on my legs, feeling exhausted as I reached my bathroom. It was small, but the tub was a makeshift luxury. It was an old fashioned ceramic tub; if there were candles or marble around, it would seem lavish. But I was comfortable with the peeling paint on the walls. It needed work but it was relief.

* * *

I stood in front of the large mirror, naked, my hair falling on my shoulders. I didn't recognize the woman in the mirror. There was something missing.

My ribs were sticking out, something I hadn't seen in years. I was always pretty slim, but this worried me. My auburn hair, something I was usually proud of, seemed dull against my pale shoulders. The bags under my eyes looked even darker under the fluorescent lights of the bathroom.

It was painful to look. Had I not taken care of myself these past few years? Had I given myself over completely to the FBI?

I looked away, not wanting to stare at myself further. The tub was now filled with scorching water, smelling of the few bath salts I could find. The heat pierced my feet, as I slowly submersed myself in the water, letting it immerse my whole body.

I looked up into the ceiling, the hot water engulfing me except my face. My head was numb now, the pain dimming down to a small thud. I could feel the energy leave me. I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling alone in the tub. I was missing something vital.

The exhaustion was taking over. My eyes were closing, feeling the water swallow my head. I was completely underwater, and there was something so peaceful about it. There was silence. I didn't have to think.

My lungs were heavy; as I moved upward to breathe again, a shadow loomed above me. I opened my eyes, looking through the blurry water. The shadow was above me, reaching into the water, pushing me down. I was panicking, screaming, reaching out toward the shadow. But it wasn't a shadow.

Evelda's hands were drowning me, her strength overpowering mine. I was crying, screaming, gasping for air, but I knew it wouldn't come.

As the dark hands pushed my chest down, I could feel the life out of everyone I had killed.

The guilty, the evil, and the ones who were just in the way.

It was my turn to pay.

* * *

_It was awfully quiet in the bathroom. She should have finished by now. _

_She would hopefully be more relaxed, and ready for a night's sleep she desperately needed. _

_A change would be wonderful for her mind. Yes, I believe that is the key._

_A starling should not be kept in a cage forever. She must fly._

* * *

Darkness, and then, sudden light.

My mouth opened into the air, gasping for it desperately. My eyes were closed, stinging of the contact with the murky water. My body wasn't moving, yet numb.

Strong hands were cradling my body, shaking me to respond. My bare chest was touching another's, feeling the figure life's breath into me. I dared to open my eyes.

The dark maroon eyes stared into mine. They were full of worry, and disappointment.

"Clarice…"

Tears were streaming down my damp face, unto my neck and into the tub. Was this another cruel hallucination? Was this another joke that was being played? Was I dead?

My hand subconsciously touched his face, also damp from the water up to his thigh.

"Are you even here?"

I cried the words out, feeling like a child in his arms. There were no boundaries anymore. I was a naked youth in his arms.

He cradled me against his chest, as the sobs came forth. I couldn't stop them.

Yet, I wasn't alone.

"I will take you away from whatever keeps you up at night, Clarice. If you cannot slay your demons, I will."

* * *

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	5. Chapter 5

_Her lips quivered against the chill of the night. Her arms, wrapping her small shoulders, provided small warmth. Her petite body was laid parallel to the floral bed sheet, the only colorful article in the living space. Her hair, the color of coal still red from a fresh fire, was damp, dripping down her neck into the towel surrounding her. It covered her entirely, yet the silhouette of her goddess-like body was innocently bared. _

_Her mouth, a pale rose, quivered, faltering words I could not understand. Half conscious, half in an illusion, the strong amazon of the woman had been replaced with a delicate, crumbling nymph. _

_There was a light surfacing, like the sunrise after an endless night, which could not see this continue. _

_If Paradise existed, I would be her guide to the golden gates. But I could create a paradise, just for her. If anything I had to live for, it was for her._

* * *

The tall oak tree was readying itself for fall. One of the large leaves fell on the nose of a young girl, playing in the grass. She observed the leaf, its wide small vein-like lines and the vibrant green color. She placed it beside her, continuing to wait for her father. His so called surprise made her heart beat as fast as the dragonflies zooming above her.

Footsteps sounded on the warm grass, approaching the young girl. A man, thin but strong, was holding two glasses of lemonade. His smile was as warm as the day. The girl smiled wide; her Daddy made the best lemonade.

They watched the clouds pass by. The little girl asked the usual countless questions, but Daddy didn't care. The best part of his job was coming home to someone who appreciated it.

"Daddy, I don't wanna be just a cop', her strong West Virginia accent always present.

"Clarice, you don't have to a cop, you know that. You can be watcha want."

"I wanna be a cop. I wanna be a Hero, like you."

The man made sure never to cry in front of his daughter. But as strong as he could, he couldn't avoid his eyes getting a little moist. This was something he should get used to.

"Clarice, I'll always be proud of you."

* * *

I kept my eyes shut, even though I knew he was there, in the bathroom cabinet. And I could feel his eyes on me, observing me. I was trying to process what had happened, but my mind was busy remembering my Father. I always felt a bit better with his memory

I couldn't open my eyes, mostly from exhaustion, from shame. Dr. Lecter had seen me naked, with nothing but a pitiful look on my face. I had never been more disgusted with myself then at this very moment.

I wasn't afraid of him; that thought was shocking me.

I had touched him. His face. And he had _held_ me.

_The Devils Mistress. Has a nice ring to it. The FBI's right; you're a demon's whore. _

I shut my eyes tight, ignoring the pain. The ache was back. I tried taking my mind off the damn headache, and focused on the sounds coming from the bathroom. They were small, but stood out from the silence outside.

The noises had stopped.

I open my eyes, slowly, but they hadn't caught his movements. He was beside me, yet from a civil distance.

_What distance, Starling? He was in your bath._

Please, shut up. Shut. Up.

"Clarice…", he called from out of the darkness. In his hands, a handkerchief held a cream-colored pill. A tall glass of water in his other hand. He looked down at me; Dr. Lecter's gaze was not what I expected. There was no pity, just empathy.

I didn't ask what the pill was. I had a feeling it wouldn't harm me. I took my hand out of my towel, reaching for the pill. I stopped in midair, noticing my arm shaking uncontrollably. He didn't hesitate; he put down the glass on the bedside table. His hand held mine steady, softly, as the pill was placed in my hand. Dr. Lecters hand guided mine, as I was able to swallow the pill. I wasn't able to hold the glass alone either; my whole face was scarlet in embarrassment.

_What have you become, Starling? Depending on a cannibal for help? You are truly alone._

"That will help you fall asleep peacefully. The restlessness will not bother you tonight", he asserted.

Before I knew it, my mouth started forming words I could not stop. Memories were flooding into my mind. Everything was drowsy. But there was one memory my mind wanted to convey.

"I remember there was one night I watched the sun set. It was a week after my father had died. It was the first time I had finally felt alone. And I couldn't leave that spot. Even after the sun had set, I stayed there, just looking at the stars. But they weren't very bright. They stopped being bright."

"Did you cease to turn on your light?", he asked sincerely. His voice reminded me of silk.

"Yes. I wasn't strong enough. He was gone. I didn't stop, however, for him. But I haven't been strong. I never was."

"Countless years of hate and animosity towards you. It was all jealousy; they knew they could never have your virtuous heart. That is strength."

I looked at him, straight into his burgundy eyes.

"I am not a hero."

"You are more than that, Clarice. You will never be on the same category as the grand Bureau because you have always been above them. And you are too blind to see this now. But sight can be cured, I can assure you", he stated, his words burning into my mind. I grew quiet, absorbing his presence.

_He's a madman, Starling. A killer. A murderer. You can't trust him_

But who do I have left?

_He will kill you. He will save you for dinner, and you'll be served as the finest meal._

My mind was racing. I know he was pure danger, but I had nothing left. I wanted so desperately to hold onto something. I wanted security.

Safety only? Or something deeper.

My eyelids were heavy. The pill was slowly kicking into effect. I wasn't afraid to look at him anymore. Who knows? Perhaps we'll both benefit from this ordeal.

Maybe this whole week is a dream. Maybe the man in front of me isn't a murderer, but an angel or a demon. I felt myself ache at the thought. I wanted to accept his help. I just wanted him here.

I wanted him to be here.

He sat in the chair beside the bedside table. Time was lost.

I followed his graceful movements. There was no fear left in me. My eyes closed once more, despite my attempt to stop them. The pill was starting to affect me.

The damp hair clung to my cheek, falling on my face as I fell into the pillow.

Soft skin brushed mine, pushing the hair out of the way.

* * *

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	6. Chapter 6

A faint ringing sound, barely audible in the mist of my dreams, called for me. Quickly it became louder and louder, as I opened my eyes to a fog-filled morning. A few rays of sun reached the bedroom door.

My cellphone rang near my ear, hurting enough for me to lift myself from the bed. The raspy hello came out without even thinking, holding the cellphone in my ear.

"Clarice? Are you alright?"

The voice of Jack Crawford echoed back from the earpiece. His usual worried tone hadn't changed. His voice reminded me of when I was just a trainee, sweating through the halls of the Bureau, looking for recognition.

"Yes, sorry sir, um, just woke up", I tried explaining, my voice quite obvious.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't meant to wake you. How are you?," he asked awkwardly. It sounded genuine, as were most of the things Jack Crawford said.

"Everything's fine, sir. Just…getting some things settled and cleaned. Things I hadn't done in years. But yes, everything's fine, thank you," I lied as best as I could. My attention diverged from the phone call and focused on the faint noises downstairs.

Dr. Lecter.

_Right, Starling, Crawford would love to hear about your new shrink._

"Ah, I understand. Good to hear." I, um- Well, just letting you. No ones going to be filling your shoes anytime soon," he stated. There was silence between us. My throat burned.

"I appreciate that, sir. Thank you." Silence, yet again.

My eyes left the pale bed sheets, and focused on the dark figure in the doorway. Dr. Lecters tall frame looked at me, his hands holding what looked like breakfast. The concerned voice of my director brought me back to the phone.

"Clarice, you there?" he asked, noting my quietness.

My eyes caught Dr. Lecter's. He was mouthing words silently. There was one word that he was repeating: escape. I registered his words soon enough.

_Look at you, communicating with a cannibal. How sweet. _

"Ye-Yes, sir, I'm here. And sir?". He waited for my reply.

"If you don't hear from me, there's nothing to worry. I might take a real vacation. Its been a while."

"Good, good, you deserve it. I was about to suggest that. But Clarice?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Be careful. Whatever anyone says, you're one of the best agents I got. Proud of you."

My throat was burning again; was I betraying him? It took me a few seconds to respond.

"Thank you…Jack."

A minute passed of simple goodbyes. Yet, after I had said my farewell, his breath stayed on the line, waiting for me to end it.

At that moment, I hadn't realized the importance of this phone call.

The string that had held me for years to the Bureau had silently cut with the press of a button.

* * *

Update coming soon! Please read and review! :)


	7. Chapter 7

He walked into the room, his grace never leaving his steps. Placing the wooden tray in front of me on the bed with poise, he backed away slowly, watching me. French toast was laid before me, accompanied by a cut orange revealing a vanilla-creme syrup. My stomach grumbled embarrassingly.

"Dr. Lecter…thank you. This is beautiful. Seems a shame to eat it," I stated, smiling nervously. I couldn't help but grow even more guilty, as he continued to treat me so kindly.

_You're blind, Starling. He has something evil up his sleeve and you're falling so easily into his trap. Way to go, ex-special agent. Might as well call you that._

_"_Food is an art, Clarice. The entirety of the process is like a film. You must absorb it from its beginning to its end. That is the only way to fully understand the finer message."

I looked down at the sophisticated meal; it sure was a beautiful film.

"Now, did you rest well last night? You slept soundly, from my view. Any nightmares plaguing your mind?

"None, thank you. Just peace."

I couldn't remember anything except peaceful darkness. It was the pill he had given me, yes, but I couldn't lie and say that it wasn't wonderful. Why did I need a pill this time?

_Because you're insane, Starling. Simple._

"That leaves me in peace as well, Clarice," he stated, pacing in front of my bedpost. I noticed the small black shape following behind him, meowing energetically.

"Dr. Lecter?"

He waited patiently for my question, the rays of the morning sun illuminating the burgundy irises I once feared.

"Where are you taking me?"

And there it was: that cunning smile. Some would call it manipulative, even evil. But I knew it wasn't that simple. He was planning something I knew I could not control.

"You never cease to peak my interest, Clarice. You never, how do they say, miss a beat. I am a man of my word, dear. I said I would take you away from this hell. I intend to do that."

_This isn't kidnapping, Starling. You want to leave, don't you?_

_"_How?" I asked; I tried wrapping my head around this whole plan. I knew deep down, I needed to leave this place. My mind raced to the warm water, and his arms holding me tightly. He was promising me to take me away.

I tried forgetting that event quickly, as my face was burning scarlet.

"I have taken the liberty in packing all your things, and everything that you might need. We'll be gone a while", he stated calmly, looking toward the window. Midnight seemed to agree with him at his feet.

"You might want to hurry and enjoy your breakfast. Your plane leaves this afternoon."

My mouth dropped slightly, shaking myself into looking a little less like an idiot.

"Wait, today?! But what about- Ardelia, and wait, if someone finds out-"

His hand stopped my words. He smiled to himself, and approached the bed, closer.

"You should not worry about anything, Clarice. Jack Crawford already knows, since you have alerted him of your future absence. Ardelia will know from the chain of whispers in the Bureau. There aren't many others to tell. You have nothing to fear," Dr. Lecter stated calmly.

I had to hold my forehead to focus on his words.

_Come on, Starling, stop panicking._ A close purr snapped me back.

"And the cat?" I asked, sounding a bit childish.

"I took the liberty of buying sufficient food, and water will be abundant. I knew you were doubtful of me, but this pains me, Clarice," he proclaimed, his face adorned with that cunning smirk.

"But where-"

"Ah, now that would spoil the surprise, Clarice. Patience, dear, patience. Eat your breakfast, and change into the clothes I left for you in your closest. Everything else is packed and downstairs."

He started to walk out, Midnight at his heels. I was too confused to ask any more questions. My hand reached for the silverware on the tray.

"Oh, and Clarice?"

My eyes met his once again. My stomach churned, but not from hunger.

"It might be beneficial if you started trusting me at this point. It'll be more fun that way, don't you think?"

* * *

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	8. Chapter 8

The blouse was made out of sheer cotton, while the perfectly-fitting pencil skirt made me look more womanly all together. I put on the deep brown coat Dr. Lecter bought for me, too. This must be the most expensive looking outfit I had ever worn. I was used to simple clothing; this was quite different.

I went to a grab a purse, but it seemed he wasn't kidding; all my clothes and few accessories were gone. Even the rare blushes and lipsticks I usually kept in the drawer were packed up. I sighed, knowing I really couldn't do anything except leave everything in his hands. I grabbed my cellphone and went downstairs.

Everything seemed frozen in time. I don't know if it was the bit of fog left, but this looked like a dream. Well, everything did.

He was sitting in the porch, rocking himself back and forth calmly. Midnight was at my feet, bumping his head against my knee. I bent down, hugging the cat, feeling the nice warmth of his fur.

"You better take care, alright?" I whispered into his hair. He meowed in reply. His purr relaxed my worry; I would truly miss him.

Patting his head one more time, I stood up, walking toward the door. I looked back at my house, the small space I had known for years.

_I really don't know why you're so worried. You'll be back. You will be back. This is just some strange psychological fieldtrip. Just get over this mess, come back alive. Cooperate, and he won't kill you._

_"_Yeah, like it's that simple," I replied. Now I'm talking to myself.

Maybe I'm right; maybe I am insane.

I opened the front door, seeing him rock back and forth with a contagious tranquility. I didn't even notice the taxi parked a couple meters down the road.

Dr. Lecter turned his head around, graciously, like a preying owl.

"You look beautiful, Clarice. I see I've made a fine choice with the outfit."

"Oh, thank you Doctor. But you really didn't have to."

"Ah, but I that hasn't stopped me, has it?"

It was noon, yet the fog hadn't let up. It made the day chilly.

"I'm going to go ahead and presume that's our taxi…?" I asked politely.

"'_Your_ taxi', to be accurate."

"Wait, you aren't coming? I have no idea where we're going and how will-"

He stared at me patiently, waiting for me to stop myself. It seemed like he had an answer to everything.

"That panicking is not doing anything beneficial for your health. Now, all your bags are in the taxi. A folder with your boarding ticket and passport are waiting for you in the backseat. Your home will be secured. There is nothing to fret. The driver has been instructed to take you to the airport, nothing else."

"But…what about you?"

_Caring for his whereabouts now? How sweet._

"I will be with you shortly. Unfortunately, I cannot go walk freely in this country, as you may be well aware of my history."

A twinkle in his eye.

"I usually am with you, you just aren't aware."

"Ah and Clarice?" he asked, taking out something out of his pressed, dark jacket. A smaller cellphone was placed in my hand. His fingers left an icy burn.

"Have that on you at all times. You will be hearing from me."

I looked out at the taxi, and back at Dr. Lecter. It was useless asking anything else. I never was a risk-taker, but at this point, I had nothing else to do. I found myself wondering how I would I say goodbye, even if I knew it would see him again. So I just looked at the wine-red irises, trying to find some answers. But I knew what it was. I was just too scared to admit it.

"Thank you," I whispered to him, genuinely appreciating everything he had done, despite what he was. Or, perhaps, would he had been.

_In your childish dreams, Starling._

I walked down the steps, and into the street. A cold wind hit me in the cheek, as I held my coat closer.

The taxi was warm; as promised my passport and the ticket were placed inside a black folder. I dared to look at the ticket, too curious not to wonder what my destination was.

**Rome International Airport - Fiumicino**

I had forgotten to breath. And For a minute, I forgot I wasn't alone.

"Oh, g-good afternoon", I said, as I looked up to the driver. He was young, with a passive look in his eyes. He nodded lightly, as he pressed his foot to the accelerator.

I tried controlling the small panic rising in my chest. Soon enough, I looked back to the small home for comfort, to see another glance of him.

Dr. Lecter was gone.

* * *

The trip to the airport didn't take long. Thirty minutes later, I was at the baggage check- in. The young driver helped me unload the two bags into the airline's belt. All my information was cleared and ready, as Dr. Lecter would have everything perfected. I tried finding a dollar or two, as thanks to the young man, but he refused any payment.

My heart tuned in with my stomach, growing ever more nervous. I prayed that no one would recognize me, as I really wasn't in any state to take any reporter.

I tried to delay thinking about my destination, but that was idiotic.

_Rome? Rome. You haven't even been out of the eastern United States, Starling! What the hell do you think you're doing? _

I passed the checkpoint with nothing but my passport, ticket and cellphone.

Afterward, I flipped open the mobile; one new message.

A strange number showed on screen accompanied with one single word.

**Breath.**

I did exactly as it said. I walked as confidently as I could toward gate 23. A smaller plane was arriving at the gate. There were a few men and women sitting patiently in the pale seats. I tried blending in as best as I could, knowing I was still bait for the media. But it seemed no one was interested in older news.

Soon, they were calling my number. I boarded the plane, trying to breathe just as the text message had said.

My seat was near the back, close to the lavatories and where the stewardess chatted throughout the flight. I had the window view, and the sky seemed even bigger than before. These would be eight very long hours.

I tried to unwind, trying to wrap my mind around this whole situation. I continued to pray, to whoever was listening, for safety.

It was ironic. Years of wishing to travel the world, and now I was getting an opportunity. Yet, it wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

The cellphone vibrated once more. One new message from the distinct number.

**Relax.**

I looked around me, as calmly as I could. But Dr. Lecter wasn't there.

I closed my eyes, imagining Italy, imagining everything I had seen in magazines and the internet. Slowly, I could feel my heart beat a little slower.

As the plane waited for its last passengers to board the plane, I waited for the seat next to me to be filled. Soon, it was evident I would fly alone.

The phone vibrated again.

**Sleep. That's my girl.**

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**Dont forget to R&R :)**


	9. Chapter 9

A big thank you to those that have read and reviewed! I appreciate all feedback. In the following chapters, the storyline will take place in a beautiful location in Italy, which I was fortunate to visit a couple years ago. It is an actual town north of Rome; look it up if you'd like! Its a beauty. :)

Again, characters are property of Thomas Harris; storyline is mine.

On with the show!

* * *

There was shouting everywhere, and the hordes of people pushed by to their own destinations. I was shocked to see so many people so early in the morning. A large electronic clock hanged on the wall of the gate; it read 4:46 am. Trying to calculate the time-change was too tiring at this hour. All I knew was that I left the U.S. around 2 p.m.

I really was far away from home.

I only knew a few words in Italian; 'hello' and 'how are you' were not heard amongst the crowd. I was able to find Customs only because a British woman took pity on me, and led me down the airports busy hallways.

After almost an hour in line, I passed the inspections. I could breathe a little easier as I was able to find the EXIT in English, along with six other languages on the sign. I hadn't noticed how hungry I was until the smell of a café filled my nose. The small meal served on the plane could only fill me so much.

_You're forgetting the big picture, Starling. You're in a foreign country, and you can't even find your bags. You're alone._

No, I'm not. He has to be around here; he must have gotten on that plane somehow. I flipped open the small mobile: no new messages.

I stopped for a few minutes, finally out of the enormous crowd. I sat in the café, trying to take a breath. I was utterly exhausted, even after sleeping most of the flight here. So this was jetlag.

I looked around the main lobby of the immense airport, the flight screens constantly changing and adapting to the schedules. Signs in different languages were everywhere, but I couldn't find the damn baggage claim sign. This was nerve-wracking.

_And no money, right, Starling? Who knows? Maybe the great Doctor has done this to isolate you from what you're supposed to be doing. A foreign country is a great place for another murder. _

I shook away the thoughts, trying to focus.

Suddenly, I could feel someone looking at me among the crowds. I couldn't explain it, but someone was here.

I stood once again, tip-toeing around families and airport workers, looking toward the exit. And there, a man clad in a black drivers uniform, was looking straight at me. My heart was lighter, as I thought I knew the obscure figure. As I walked closer to him, I could feel the happiness leave me, as I noticed a large scar on his crooked nose. Dark sunglasses hid his face, as he chewed gum like the men who smoked outside gas stations. He was no .

But as I walked closer, he nodded his face, and motioned me out of the airport. I followed him mindlessly, knowing this might be better than being lost .

It was still dark outside. The clouds in the farther horizon were approaching fast. Dozens of taxis and cars lined the drop-off area. A few gypsies were near the loading zones, looking for naïve tourists. A group of Asian tourists stood near the airline counters. There were less people outside, but I still had to keep close to the man, walking calmly toward a simple black car on the other end of the street.

The man didn't say much, but opened the truck, revealing all of my bags. He looked at me quickly; "Bene?" he asked hurriedly, his voice deep and hoarse. I nodded my head, as I could actually understand that once piece of Italian. I guess everything was 'good'.

He opened the door to the taxi, waiting for me to enter. I thanked him, cursing myself as my voice sounded insecure.

_Calm down, this creep's probably paid by that Doctor of yours. Just be quiet and enjoy the ride. _

He didn't wait for me to say anything. He drove the car out of the side parking space and followed the masses of yellow taxis exiting the airport.

There wasn't much sun out yet. Lush mountains adorned the landscape , some high enough to be hiding behind clouds. We were almost out of the highways leading toward the airport, and new signs leading to unknown cities passed us.

I looked into the rearview mirror of the car, watching the mysterious driver. His gum-chewing was the only noise in the car, besides the sound of the tires on asphalt. I seemed oblivious to him; speaking to him seemed impractical. Might as well not bother him.

I dazed off, as the car ride became quiet. Countless small farms were passed, while gorgeous pastures adorned the Italian countryside. I was exhausted, but I couldn't help stare at the beauty before me.

It was near 6 a.m. when the road was starting to lead into the olive mountains. Signs passed too quickly for me to read. The driver took another exit, now on a smaller road. We passed another small town, looking picturesque against the grasslands.

Pine trees adorned the mountains, helping the morning sun climb into the sky. I could feel a headache thumb against my head, but it wasn't the usual familiar pain. This was both fear and excitement.

A large city was to my right, but the car passed that it, too.

Where was I going?

After almost two hours of a car ride, the road became rural, as small farmhouses decorated the hillsides. Men were out in the morning, leading their cattle to graze while the women picked the freshly-laid eggs. I passed the people, returning their warm smiles with one of my own.

A rusted sign was placed near the road, home to a long, striking name that as foreign to me as the land around me.

** Civita di Bagnoregio**

** 3 Chilometre**

I tried wrapping my mind around the name, and soon, the car drove downhill on a gravel road. The car abruptly stopped, the man parking it near the end of the pebbly road. He was out of the car, opening mine rapidly. I stepped outside, the sun touching my face warmly. The man started taking out my luggage, but as I followed to help him, I was hit by the sight before me.

A town made out of solid rock was suspended on a mountain top, placing itself among the verdant mountains. Its tall towers reached higher than the peaks around it, like a gold crown above a head. A long solid bridge connected the gravel road to the town, nothing but air between the stilts supporting the passage. The sun was kissing the town good morning, the air hugging its cliffs amiably. This was surely heaven on earth.

I hadn't noticed my mouth was open. I turned scarlet as soon as the driver looked at me through the dark spectacles.

"Pronto ad andare?", he asked, pointing toward the town.

I nodded, not knowing what he had said. He started walking toward the bridge, trailing the luggage behind. He hadn't even given me a chance to help him.

I looked again at the wonder before me. My heart urged my body forward.

I found myself smiling again.

Dr. Lecter, you sure do have taste.

* * *

**Update very soon! Dont forget to R&R! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

She was trying to focus on her footsteps but her eyes were concentrating around her instead of her footing. She was telling herself to grow up, but the child that was trapped inside was trying to break through. Her legs wanted to run, wanted to explore like she had never done before. The pain in her head had numbed itself gone, for a short time, but nevertheless, it had stopped. Her chest was taking the Italian air in one long breath at a time. She knew she was trusting, not a man, but a demon. She was well aware she could be killed any second, but something else told her He wouldn't hurt her. Behind caged walls, or even the fields of Tuscany, she would not be hurt. The agent would be careful, but like it had always been with Him, the walls were never there.

The man in front of her, chewing the dull gum in with his sharp teeth, was focusing his attention on his own steps, walking calmly toward the town ahead. He could forget everyone and everything around him perfectly. He had done it so many times before; his body was always in control. But at this moment, something was falling out of stride. His eyes, clad in the black lens, were shifting, trying to see the woman behind Him. Just a glance, his mind taunted him, beckoning him to take a glance. But with strong hands on the luggage, He knew what he had to do: focus, like he had always done.

It had been decades since his body betrayed his mind. And at this moment, his eyes were crawling at the corner, begging to his neck. Move, they screamed, move. And his neck obeyed. His mind was silent.

The woman was smiling brightly, eyes absorbed in her surroundings. She was similar to the paintings of goddesses seen in foreign magazines. Her auburn hair shined through the morning rays; her coat hugged at her curves, swaying with her lean legs. She was unaware how striking she was; she had kept her innocence, making it a part of her own self, masking herself in safety. It radiated like the rising star in the sky.

His heartbeat was calm, yet one of his senses was taking in the woman behind him. His eyes were drinking her being.

* * *

The bridge seemed eternal as I tried to catch up with the driver. It wasn't too long until we reached the city gate, one of the tallest points of the town. Up close, the town was made from the mountain itself. Below the gates opening, a small tunnel leads into town. The tall clock tower greeted me, looking down into the main street. The square smelled like flowers, and the smell became stronger as we reached the town's center. The walls were clouded in ivy and wildflowers, crawling into the doorsteps.

Cobblestone streets adorned the ancient walls. I was trying not to trip on the pebble ground, my boots getting caught in large stones. My neck was beginning to ache, while I tried to take in the beauty. Beauty was understatement. An artist could make a masterpiece out of this place.

It seemed that the town was abandoned. There were only a few tourists, mostly couples, walking through the small streets. A few cats laid among the pillars for shade, while pigeons waited for any bread from the gullible travelers. There only a few businesses in town; a picturesque café and a restaurant made their business in the mountain.

The driver didn't stop, but kept walking until the farther street leading east of the small town. A few more steps through the stone walls and the man stopped at a large red door, a lavender-flowered shrub covering the opening. The man dropped the luggage in the steps, and reached into his jacket; a bundle of keys chimed as he opened the rustic door.

He brought the luggage inside, and patiently held the door for me. It seemed I was in a daze, and I had to shake myself to go inside. If the town had made me short of breath, the inside of the house left me painfully breathless.

It was similar to the town; I felt as if I had gone back into medieval times, a crystal chandelier hanging handsomely from the ceiling. Most of the walls were made out of darker stone. The wood floor led into the kitchen, where marble and granite countertops shined under the blown-glass lantern. There were flowers in every corner, some I hadn't even seen before; the exotic scents filled the rooms. Elaborate stairs led to the second floor; my feet were already walking towards the steps when I remembered the driver behind me.

"Oh, Thank you so-"

But I didn't finish my sentence, as the man was calmly removing his scar from his face. His sunglasses revealed deep maroon eyes. He straightened his back, locking himself into his usual graceful position. Somehow, I really wasn't surprised.

"Dr. Lecter…glad to join your company."

"Good Morning, Clarice. You cooperated quite well. Too well, surprisingly."

"You think I would get into any car with any stranger? Either that 'driver' was you or someone you paid. You told me to trust you."

"Yes, and your mind is telling you otherwise, isn't it? But you saunter ahead and you ignore that dreadful little voice. The voice you've been obeying all your life. Tell me, Clarice…what are you feeling at this very moment?"

I could feel my heart stop. This wasn't a game I enjoyed playing with him. I couldn't lie, that would only frustrate him.

"Excitement. Nervousness. Fear. But overall… excitement. "

"And as much you dread to admit it, you are enjoying this…aren't you, Clarice?

"Yes, Doctor. I…this place…I'm speechless."

The smile was before once again.

"Well, welcome to Civita, _cara_. The 13th century town abandoned over the course of time. The ancient Etruscans built this out of the bear rock, but we'll absorb more about its antiquity this week, I assure you. I was able to acquire this little gem after some consideration from its past owner. Don't fret, Clarice, we will be safe from anyone here. We are sealed in time," he proclaimed with a grin.

I never thought I would be happy to be in a place alone with him, but at this moment I felt safe in the beautiful villa. I needed to thank him, but that wasn't enough. I had to cooperate. It was hard believing Dr. Lecter was doing this out of the goodness of his heart, a goodness I didn't think existed. But I believed it.

_Now you admire the killer? Are you forgetting something, Starling? You've been throwing everything away the moment you started trusting this monster. He is only one thing: a monster._

Not now. Breath, Clarice.

"I want to show you something. I think you will delight in it", he proclaimed serenely. He walked toward the large glass doors toward the right of the kitchen, sun streaming through the glass.

I followed him carefully, a little nervous as to what he had to show me. He opened the door with one of the keys gracefully, waiting for me to approach it. Dr. Lecter wouldn't open the door,however; I was to do it.

He backed away from me, a civil space between us. I could smell his expensive scent, like a small cloud in the air. It was his own familiar aroma of dew and untainted man.

I opened the door, hand shaking on the silver knob. The door opened to an antique garden, larger than any house I had ever lived in. An intricate metal enclosure was placed between stone, marking the border of the property. My legs were moving, my mind unconscious. Flowering trees were planted in every corner, the branches leaving a sea of blossoms. I reached the fence, looking down toward the rest of the town. But there was no town, just sky. A cliff greeted me, a long drop down into the Italian hillsides. I was in the sky.

A burst of warm wind greeted me as I tried breathing normally. My lungs wouldn't agree.

I looked back, feeling a pair of eyes watching me. Dr. Lecter stood only a few paces away from me, his eyes digging into mine. He was looking at me like no man has ever looked at me before. His maroon eyes were filled with adoration.

My heart was beating a different rhythm.

* * *

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	11. Chapter 11

The tuna sandwich was getting even colder than it was supposed to be. Ardelia couldn't put it down. She was busy worrying about her sister. Not a sister by blood, but Clarice was her best friend since their early years as trainees. And no matter what happened between them, she would always be blood.

The café near the headquarters was one of Ardelia's favorite places near the Bureau, but lately, she wasn't very hungry. She hated eating alone; laughs and gossip would be shared with her best friend daily during this time. That always made the day a little bright.

Since Clarice's disappearance, Ardelia's days had been obscure.

Not disappearance, however: a 'vacation'. That's what everyone was saying at the Bureau. People was both surprised and alleviated by her sudden leave. It would be better for the agency, they said. She was giving the entire place a bad rap for years, they said.

"Bullshit."

Ardelia would repeat the truth to herself. She would run through the halls, doing her own duties, but she always kept her ears open. Rumors flooded the halls of the Department. She hated them for what they had done to Clarice, but there wasn't much she could do except stand up in the smallest ways she could. She shut them off completely; if asked, she would vehemently negate anything destructive about Clarice. Ardelia knew the truth.

Yet, there was something strange about the situation, mostly because Clarice hadn't said a word before she left.

Ardelia knew everything about Clarice. Everything.

Why hadn't she called? Or at least left a note?

It was Wednesday afternoon. Headquarters smelled like sweat and fresh paper, while agents walked hurriedly through the narrow corridors. Ardelia sat in her small workspace, huddled by folders of minor cases. Her brow was starting to house small beads of sweat; she was thinking harder than she usually was. Her blood was boiling.

That morning she had tried to get through to Jack Crawford, phone and personally; she had a feeling it would be nearly impossible. Her 'feelings' were usually accurate.

Ardelia had tried phoning Crawford's department, but she was put on hold for a half an hour before the crude secretary directed her away to another representative. She had even gone to his department's floor and asked to see the director personally, but Crawford was always 'unavailable."

_Calm down, don't make a big deal out of things. I can't say anything yet. For all I know, she's probably sipping a martini on the shore._

_But, she would have at least called me to tell brag about it. Or something. _

_And what about that cat? She wouldn't just leave it without food. If Crawford knew, why didn't I?_

_Clarice, you sure as hell owe me an explanation._

Her heart felt heavy.

She couldn't just brush this off. There was something wrong about all of this.

That afternoon, Ardelia Mapp checked out early from her day. There was still light for a couple more hours.

A little visit would set her conscience right.

* * *

The stairs were hard against my boot, as I carefully climbed toward the hallway, painted a deep champagne color. My bedroom was the first on the right.

I opened the tall wooden door, revealing bright sunlight. The bed caught my eye; a wine bedspread went tastefully with the cream canopy above the bed. The lace danced with the wind coming out of the wooden blinds on the slightly open window. A large wardrobe stood in the corner, the opening carved out of intricate metalwork. The bathroom looked like it came straight out of a movie; the large tub was made out of a green-tinted marble, Victorian in its shape. Stone tiles touched my feet when I entered. The entire space smelled of lavender and silk.

I was looking into the mirror. I hadn't properly looked at myself in a while. Ever since that that one night in my cramped bathroom, it was hard looking into my own reflection. The bags under my eyes were less dark, but still prominent. The thinness wouldn't go away as easily.

My mind was remembering my skin on his, a touch I had never experienced.

_No, erase that. Just let it go. _

My face was scarlet in the reflection.

I walked out of the doorway, and touched the beds fabric. It was soft against my fingers. My eyes traced the lace above me. The beautiful web shined like stars.

"How are you enjoying your bedroom, _cara_?"

His voice made me jump out of the bed, standing awkwardly in front of him.

"This is beautiful…Well, that's an understatement. I don't really know how I repay you for all of this, Doctor."

"Easily, Clarice. You can repay me by getting better. That is all. My deepest desire is for you to appreciate your own standing in this world. I want you to discover how significant you are."

I didn't know how to respond to that. I never thought about myself in that matter, only my duties. That made me who I was.

Then what really made me Clarice Starling?

"I…don't really know what to say."

"All of that will come in time, Clarice. Now..."

He looked down at his silver watch gracefully. A smile appeared at his thin lips.

"You must be exhausted from the arduous flight. I will be going to Bagnoregio's market for dinner provisions. But first, you must get some rest."

I found myself not wanting him to go.

_Screw the therapy, Starling. You want a killer's company. That isn't curable._

I made sure not to show it, nevertheless.

The Doctor walked a couple paces closer to me silently. The familiar electricity hung between us. It was always there, but I always denied it. Was it worth denying it now?

"I will return shortly, _cara mia._"

He touched my cheek lightly, his soft finger burning my skin. Dr. Lecter turned around soundlessly, and left the room.

His strong, yet alluring scent hung in the air.

* * *

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	12. Chapter 12

_Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for your love is better than wine._

_Solomon 1:2_

* * *

The villa seemed deserted without him in the halls.

I soon realized how gritty I was, and decided a bath would be heaven. I walked toward the large bathroom, taking off my boots and leaving them outside of the doorpost, not wanting to dirty the beautiful tiles. My feet shivered as it touched the cold stone. I removed my clothes, but as my eyes tried looking into the mirror, my mind yelled at them to look away. I wasn't going to go through _that_ again.

I touched the glass faucet, the water flowing in. I was thankful the water was steaming. Exquisite smelling soaps, salts, and shampoos lay waiting to be smelled in the silver cabinet near the marble counter. Fresh lavender adorned the small shelves on the walls, while dried roses adorned the rim of the marble bathtub.

I decided on a few sprigs of the lilac flower and the black rose soap. As I sat slowly into the hot water, I felt the tension leave me body. Worries tried to creep back in, but I was trying my hardest to enjoy this moment. My head was swirling with the different scents mixing in the water. I was used to the generic soaps and washes I usually bought at pharmacies; this felt both foreign and heavenly.

My eyes floated above the surface, tracing the small bubbles on the top. My thoughts went to the few colleagues I called friends. Jack Crawford was probably at his desks, his eyes tired from little sleep. The wrinkles on his face were gradually becoming prominent, yet they revealed a kind man hidden in tragedy. Ardelia was somewhere, safe, enjoying the weekend. I felt rotten after not leaving a note, but I would see her soon again. I also knew her more than anyone. She would doubt, or worry. I didn't want her to worry anymore.

I lost track of time in that bathtub; I didn't want to leave, but I could feel myself slowly falling asleep. I dragged myself out, drying myself with the cotton towel near.

The bedroom stood still against the afternoon sun. The large drawer was slightly open; the wind must have undone it.

I opened the drawer completely. Fine clothing lay before me, silks of colors I had never seen. Lace dresses hung like lights in the wardrobe.

Guilt.

I felt guilt; I knew Dr. Lecter was being genuine, but I still needed to keep my guard up. I knew I was doing the right thing when dealing with this man, but it felt so wrong. Was I betraying him?

_You are doing what needs to be done. Do what you were trained to do._

My hands felt the fabrics. They felt as fine as dust.

I hadn't noticed the folded nightgown on the fine bed. I opened the dress, letting it flow downward. Thin straps were adorned with cream beads, matching the patterns on the hem. This was almost too beautiful.

I slipped the thin nightgown on, the soft material clinging to my skin. Oh, .

Maybe this was all some sort of dream. Maybe I was dead.

I settled into the cotton bed, a sigh escaping my lips.

If this was death, I was weak. I gave in, as my eyes closed, melting into the beautiful sheets.

* * *

_The market was close to a Picasso, a flurry of colors wherever the eyes placed themselves. Coriander, ginger, red pepper._

_A perfect cut of Lamb. _

_Merlot, made freshly in the nearby mountains. _

_Arugula, thyme, and an extra virgin olive oil; a fresh salad and spice vinaigrette. _

_Strong caffé, molded to a dark powder that could revive the dead._

_The dead, pale yet more alive than some on this earth. The scent of life hung around the market. _

_Everything would be ready for her._

_An hour before sunset; there was more than enough time to have everything set. _

_The door was before me. The house smelled entirely of her, despite the florae in every corner. It was a mix of innocence and goddess. A goddess that must be branded into the mind, for she could disappear at any moment. _

_This could not wait. She would be recorded; the thin piece of parchment would do._

_Her eyes were sapphires against her auburn flame for hair, passing her shoulders like veins. Her mouth was slightly open, the shine of the night on her lips. _

_A thin gown was draped over her chest, every asset covered yet her curvature was evident. She was evident, as hard as she tried to hide._

_In her arms, she carried the Moon, melting in her cold hands. She was not surprised; the night could not suppress her. It could only give in._

_She was finished. My hand ached with the fast familiar ache of a sketch. I yearned for the graphite. _

_The clock chimed behind me. _

_Everything would be prepared for her. _

* * *

A strong odor was in the room. It woke me up, as I groggily tried guessing what it was. I opened my eyes to a dark room, illuminated by a small glass candle, reflecting small gems on the walls.

I jumped out of the bed, shocked at how long I had slept. I found a jacket in my luggage quickly, and left the room. The smell hit me like wind. It was a mix of garlic and something else I couldn't quite put my finger on. The stone steps led me on.

There wasn't much light in the first floor of the villa; the only light came from the candles set in threes on the wooden table. The table itself was set with cream and red porcelain plates. The scene itself was breathtaking.

Dr. Lecter was near the stove, plating what smelled absolutely delicious. He was clothed in a dark suit and red tie; his back was slim yet strong, brightened by the candlelight. Suddenly, I felt my cheeks go warm as he turned around, fixating his eyes on my mine.

"Clarice, good evening. I hope you slept well. You've come at a perfect time."

"Thank you,Doctor. I…um, slept wonderfully. The bed was very comfortable. I didn't mean to sleep so much."

"Ah, there's no need to apologize. I wanted you to sleep as much as you could", he proclaimed, walking towards the table with two colorful plates. A delicious cut of meat with cream sauce was paired with a vibrant salad. He placed the tableware gently on the wooden surface. My conscience was praying the meal would be a simple chicken.

The Doctor looked up at me, his eyes having that distinct glimmer. He held out his hand, waiting patiently for mine.

"Now then, shall we dine?"

* * *

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	13. Chapter 13

The plate in front of me smelled sweet and savory at the same time; my stomach was grumbling obnoxiously. The roasted chicken smelled delicious, the cream-colored sauce poured gently over the dish. It was simple yet elegant.

I was sitting in the wooden chair, waiting patiently for Dr. Lecter to sit. Yet, he stood by his chair, his dark eyes watching me as his lips formed a coy smile. I grew anxious; I couldn't help looked away, as he sat calmly in front of me. There was a strange warmness in the villa.

"The food is not poisoned, my dear. You may eat peacefully," he stated, as he began to eat, slicing his meat with precision. I grabbed my silver fork, and began to eat too. A beautiful red wine was served with the meal.

I was trying all I could not to be rude, but the habits of an agent were still in practice. I tasted the meat, sighing silently when I tasted the chicken. It seemed he hadn't noticed my relief.

"It's delicious, Doctor. Seems you're talented in the culinary arts, too", I said, smiling as the food really tasted lovely.

"A hobby, if you will. I had some spare time."

We ate in silence for a while; I wanted to say something, but I guess it wasn't necessary. I finished my meal, wiping off the sides of my face with the folded napkin. It was soft against my face.

"Champagne, Clarice? It'll go well with the soft wine of the meal," he proclaimed. He held out a glass bottle with an intricate Italian logo on it. I could smell its curious scent.

Dr. Lecter poured the champagne into my glass; the only time I had had an expensive drink was when I was inducted as an official agent, so many years ago. When the liquid touched my lips, those memories were renewed.

"Silence is a beautiful thing, is it not? You can almost hear conversations floating in the wind, in the air around us. I can hear your silence, Clarice."

His eyes were on me as he casually took a sip out of the glass. He was waiting for me to respond.

"It's filled with everything you never had and everything you ever wanted."

"Always to the point, huh, Dr. Lecter?" I stated; I was getting agitated, probably because he was right.

"My memories are exactly what they are: memories. I got over the fact about useless things that weren't meant for me", I responded. I always tried to avoid thinking about the past.

"But you still wish for a difference, don't you? You want a different life."

At this I had to glare at him, straight into those dark pupils. This wasn't true. I had been satisfied with my life. I was.

I was successful.

"I created this life. I was proud of what I had done", I proclaimed, but my voice betrayed me.

"Clarice, let us be honest with each other. I have never lied to you, and I never will. Can you promise me you will be sincere with me?

"Well, yes, alright. I just want to know…"

"Yes, Clarice?

"Why? Why all of this? I'm supposed to be hunting you, Dr. Lecter. But I'm not. I'm sitting at a table, dining with you. I'm enjoying this. And I feel so guilty of everything. I…don't know what to feel anymore."

I was out of breath. I did feel guilty, mostly because I felt no stress at the moment. Was it the man in front of me? Could this murderer…

There it was again. Guilt. Even though I knew what he was, I couldn't bring myself to insult him like that. My eyes were looking at the silverware; I couldn't meet those eyes, not now. I wouldn't cry again in front of him.

"The needle, although small, has been found in the heap of the enigmatic haystack."

My head bolted up, looking at his lips, avoiding eye contact.

"Guilt, my dear, is what has been controlling you since the day you decided on the FBI, the pinnacle of your salvation. You have always felt guilty for your father's death, so you felt obligated to defend the spirit of your _Hero_. You did what you could to reach the top, reaching what you deserved. But even at the top, you felt like you were cheating. But you triumphed; you killed in honor. And your salvation betrayed you, didn't it? They shunned you."

It was becoming extremely hard for me to hold the tears in my eyes.

"You deserved more, Clarice. You deserve more now. You are here to perceive what you can be."

He was standing now, pulling his chair back slowly. Walking slowly toward me, my eyes had become dry. had seen through me. I felt like that night in the bathtub, naked against his gaze. He was near me now; he hovered over me, with a look of understanding in his face. A hand was held out for mine.

I took his hand, and he guided me gently out of my chair.

"Dr. Lecter…?"

But he didn't say a word, guiding me toward the stairs. I followed him, step by step into the dark hallway, illuminated by a single candle on an intricate handle on the wall. We passed my bedroom; my heart was beating fast.

The last wooden door on the right was opened for me, the Doctor letting me enter first. It was an empty room, filled with large glass windows. The curtains were made out of a dark beige lace; the walls were decorated with a Victorian wallpaper of carriages and bouquets, while the room itself had its own veranda. At the end of the vast room, a cherry wood piano stood proudly.

I thought that I had already seen the loveliest places in the villa, but I had been wrong about that.

The Doctor walked toward the middle, still guiding me gently behind him. We were now standing in front of each other, his hand still in mine. My face was becoming warm.

His other hand was placed softly on my lower back, while the other was now above my shoulder. He started swaying me, dancing along with my body. I didn't know a thing about dance, and my ignorance only made my cheeks grow even redder than they already were.

"Follow my footsteps, Clarice. We do not need music to dance. We own a melody inside us; like a delicate violin, you must pluck it with your own fingertips. "

"I cant-"

I caught my breath, as his lips were barely touching my cheek. Our bodies were almost together; his body heat was indescribable.

"Breath, Clarice. I can hear your melody. It is the most beautiful symphony to ever reach my ears."

* * *

Across the Atlantic Ocean, a heart was beating with anticipation. She couldn't deny there was frustration in her heart.

Ardelia Mapp stood leaning against her car; she was observing the cars passing in the tree-filled street. She had been there half an hour, and only two cars had driven by. It didn't surprise her, though. This was a lonely road occupied by a few residents.

There was still some sun left in the day. She had some time.

Across the street next to the lake, a handsome yet humble wooden house stood behind pine trees. The light of the porch was on, seen through the countless flowers hanging from the porch roof. A few welcome gnomes adorned the front lawn.

Clarice's neighbor seemed hospitable from afar.

_Seems I've got to start somewhere. _

* * *

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	14. Chapter 14

**_A big Thank you to all of you lovely readers/reviewers! I appreciate all the reviews and feedback. Shoutout to RevDorothyL, for being a faithful, insightful reader! (all of you are, though :))._**

**On with the show.**

* * *

The wooden porch creaked as Ardelia approached the white door. Her badge was placed in her jackets front pocket, ready to be displayed. Her small handgun was sleeping in the arch of her back.

She knocked gently once; no answer. A second knock was necessary, as it was then that footsteps were heard slowly walking towards the door. When the door was unlocked, a small elderly woman stood in the doorway. Her glasses were neatly tucked in her platinum hair, and her back was painfully bent in a way only age could. Her face, however, was kind and gentle.

"Hi, ma'am, my name is Ardelia Mapp, FBI. I know it's a bit late, but I have a couple questions to ask you, if you aren't too busy." At this moment, she showed her badge and identification, as the woman looked over the I.D.

"Oh, Lord. No of course not, come on in! The place is a bit of a mess. Scarlet, be nice!", the woman proclaimed, as a small black terrier jumped toward Ardelia. It settled down as the agent took a seat in the Victorian-esque chair.

"Would you like any coffee? Or tea? I made some peanut butter cookies, if you'd like some. They're a favorite among my grandkids."

"Um, some coffee would be great. That's very kind of you, Ma'am. I don't want to take much of your time, Mrs.…?"

"I'm sorry, dearie, I am being too rude. Mrs. Anne Caines", she stated, as she walked into the kitchen, the sounds of cups and utensils echoing in the small space. Ardelia surveyed the area, taking a mental picture in her head.

Soon, Mrs. Caines was before her, placing a cup of coffee in Ardelia's hands. She didn't forget the cookies.

After a bit of small talk, Ardelia got right down to business. She didn't want to waste any more time.

-"Ma'am, I believe you know your neighbor, Clarice Starling. She lives down the road from you."

-"Ah, yes, Clarice. She's a bit distant, but a kind soul. I respect her privacy."

-"When was the last time you spoke to her?"

-"Oh Lord, she's not hurt, is she? Everything alright?"

-"I assure you, everything's alright, Ma'am. Just some standard questions."

_Smile, damn it. You don't want to give the woman a heart attack._

Mrs. Caines seemed to calm down a bit. It seemed Ardelia would have to go straight to the point.

"Ma'am, about two days ago, do you remember seeing anything different or odd at her house? Maybe a glance towards there and something caught your eye? Anything can be helpful."

At this, the old woman shifted against the couch, sipping her own coffee. She was deep in thought.

"Hmm…dearie, to be completely honest, I don't remember anything odd. I went to get my mail. And then, I watered my flowers in the porch. I do remember looking towards the lake. And her house. But….hmm…."

She trailed off, thinking again. Ardelia was growing a bit edgy. The agent was talented in many ways, but patience was something she needed to practice. She didn't what to frighten the old woman or rush her, but if Clarice was in danger, then Ardelia was doing nothing but wasting time.

"Well, thank you, Mrs. Caines, for your help. The cookies were delicious," she stated, smilingly gratefully. Ardelia was already at her feet, when the woman spoke again.

"Wait…I do remember something now, dear. A cab was parked outside Clarice's house. Around noon, if I'm not mistaken. It wasn't yellow, though, but black. I think that's why it was a bit strange. I'm used to the yellow ones, from the big cities. But this one had nothing written on it, nor any logo. It might be my eyes, dear."

Ardelia was frozen in her steps. She was listening intently.

"I'm sorry, I can't remember anything else", the woman stated, sitting up from the couch.

"No, ma'am, not at all. I think you've helped me more than you know."

The woman smiled.

"I do hope she's alright. I know this is probably confidential, but just let me know, if you need anything."

"You can be assured of that. Thank you, Mrs. Caines. "

Ardelia walked down the front porch stairs, waving a small goodbye towards the old woman. She was in her car now, looking towards Clarice's house, masked in pine trees.

_A black cab. No logo. Noon._

_I could get some answers from there. _

She kept repeating this in her head, making sure her brain doesn't forget a single detail of the conversation with Mrs. Caines.

Ardelia had one more stop before driving back to her apartment for the night. And it wasn't too far.

She was standing in Clarice's front yard, looking toward the comfort she knew her best friend basked in. Ardelia felt like she was trespassing in a way. This was her home.

_She's left it for a bit to find some peace, and now you're just invading. I'm sorry, Clarice._

Ardelia wasn't going to break in. She wouldn't do that.

But she wasn't going to leave before surveying the house. It might be worth a shot.

It only took five minutes for Ardelia to look around the entire house. Every window was looked into. And everything seemed fine.

She used the side steps to climb into the porch. Her front entrance seemed untouched by anything foreign. The welcome mat was in the right place. The chairs hadn't been moved. The screen and main door seemed locked and secure. In the windows, the bit of light left in the day illuminated the living room; a large feeder sat in the corner, filled to the top with what looked like dry cat food. A water dispenser wasn't too far away.

_Seems that cat's well off._

Ardelia backed away from the front window. Everything seemed perfect. Maybe she was overacting.

She sighed deeply. It had been a long day; it was time to go home.

Ardelia turned around, starting to walk down the steps, when something hit her. It wasn't something physical. It was something in the air.

An alluring scent hit her nostrils like a slap to the face, very distinct compared to the scent to the trees around her.

Her senses were working overtime, her nose trialing the scent to somewhere on the porch. It didn't take long, however.

It was the wooden chair next to the door; Ardelia stood before it, and leaned in. There it was again; it was the deep, seductive scent that can only be described as man.

Pure, unhindered man.

She backed away slowly. Her mind was trying to make sense out of all of this. Her heart was racing.

_A vacation for two._

* * *

_**Dont forget to R&R! :)**_


	15. Chapter 15

Dr. Lecter taught me to dance a simple waltz, and it seemed like my feet, soon enough, followed along to the silent melody. We didn't talk much, and soon, He was walking me to my room.

I stood there, awkwardly waiting for one of us to say goodbye for the night. I was shocked at my body; it wanted to kiss him, on his cheek, as a thank you. But it wasn't only going to be thank you, was it?

I just wanted to kiss him.

But he beat me to it. His hand let go of my arm gently, looking into my eyes. He kissed me softly on my forehead. His lips were warm; it seemed as if they left a burn on my skin. I didn't mind it. The Doctor walked away before I could say a word.

* * *

The bed was heavenly soft, as I could feel my back relaxing against the silk sheets. The night was silent. It would have been perfect to sleep effortlessly. But my mind wouldn't let me sleep.

It kept thinking, pondering about everything that happened. The fact that I was in a foreign country with a murderer was one thought that invaded my mind every second, of course. Yet, there were other thoughts that I couldn't push away.

I opened my eyes to the lace canopy of the bed. My hand touched my forehead; it was still warm.

There was an antique clock on the wooden nightstand; it read 3:23 a.m.

This would be a very long night.

The hours passed, tossing in turning into what I knew was probably the most comfortable bed I had ever laid in. The room smelled of vanilla and lavender.

Guilt was still probing my heart, but this time it was because of what I had done to Ardelia. I knew it should've left a note or something. I knew Ardelia. She would be more than pissed when I return.

_If you return. The devil in the suit could walk into this bedroom and eat you alive at any moment. You might want to leave a will._

He's not going to hurt me. I know this. I trust him.

I tossed again in the sheets. I couldn't deny it. Part of me wanted him to see him again, right now. At this, my body shot out from the sheets. No. Oh no.

This wasn't real. This couldn't happen. And I will not happen.

I shook my head as hard as I could. Infantile, yes, but I needed to feel as if I was fighting this.

I crawled out of my bed, not knowing where to go. I walked around the room, feeling the chill of the night air. My feet were bare against the cold floor. I paced for what it seemed was an hour. Soon, they couldn't stay in the room.

I was in the dark hallway, hearing silence from the rest of the villa. I walked toward the living room space, illuminated by a few candles on the dinner table. The fire made the burgundy walls dance. I looked toward the veranda windows. A small amount of sunrise was crawling through the mountains. My eyes were surprisingly alert, despite how early it was. I was used to it, however. There were many sleepless nights in my career.

I stood there, feeling naked as goosebumps formed on my arms. It wasn't that cold in here.

"A wakeful night, Clarice…?", a voice purred in the darkness. I turned around, seeing a figure in the Victorian chair in the living room. He stood now in front of me, the candlelight illuminating the red in his eyes. The Doctor was calm.

"I couldn't sleep, no matter what I did. How about you, Doctor?"

"I usually wake up quite early, but I couldn't fall asleep on such a beautiful night."

Silence overcame the distant between us. There wasn't just silence, however.

He walked closer to me, his footsteps barely audible. I was shivering.

"Are you cold, Clarice?" he asked genuinely, as a smirk appeared on his lips. "Do not attempt to lie. I will know."

"Ah…yes. Don't worry yourself, I'll be fine. I'll probably be off no-"

But in seconds he was close to me, close enough to hear his peaceful breathing. He took his coat off, putting it gently over my shoulders. The nightgown was thin, as I could feel the pure cotton of his coat warm me instantly. I tried covering my chest; unfortunately, the cold hadn't ignored that area.

He stared into me, his eyes drilling into my mind. His hands caught my cheek gently, stroking it with precision and tenderness. My cheeks were growing scarlet.

"Dr. Lecter…I should lea-"

"I have never been one to ignore my heart's longings. However, I have patience, and I know what is meant for my life and what is meant for another's. I do not know what you are, Clarice. I want to help you; I want to see you soar. Yet…"

His voice was low now, his hands now caressing my neck. My body was responding in a unknown matter I can't describe.

"I know that I cannot bear this no longer, this burden that has pulled at my heart and soul for years. I wanted to keep this silent, and remain your companion in this journey to your happiness. Forgive me, Clarice, for what I am about to do…"

He trailed off, as my mouth tried forming words, yet nothing came out. My body was shivering again, but not of the chill.

His eyes were glowing in the candlelight, as his mouth met mine. His lips were soft as silk, as they moved like the rhythm of the waltz, swaying gently against my lips. His hands, large yet kind, cupped my face closer to him. The Doctors scent was engulfing me in a sweet cloud I couldn't reject. My mind was filled with him and only him. I had never known this feeling, this dance.

I was weak against him, against my own emotions.

I couldn't ignore this anymore.

The darkness had taken my soul.

* * *

**Please R&R :)**


	16. Chapter 16

Thank you so very much for all the reviews, follows, and favorites! I'd like to apologize for the long wait; I haven't had much time to write lately. It might a little while until the update since ill be moving into college and all that jazz. But I'll try to update again soon!

Read & review :)

Much love and enjoy.

* * *

It had been a long night. There were barely any sounds coming outside the fourth story window, and the apartment seemed deserted. The smell of stale coffee filled the small apartment. Ardelia sat crouched over the dinner table, her eyes closing from exhaustion. She should probably make more coffee.

After interviewing her best friend's neighbor, Ardelia had set to work on finding any traces of Clarice's whereabouts. She had some information on the taxi she had rode to wherever she was now. It was near four in the morning. Four cups of caffeine had helped through the research, but she didn't know if she could stay awake any more.

_Damn it, Mapp. You'll sleep when she's safe_.

She rubbed her eyes, alerting her slightly. Her laptop was out, warm from hours of use. She had narrowed her search to only two taxi companies in the Virginia area that had black cars available for a more private escort. Both 'CuickCab' and 'Smithson Taxis' companies would receive a visit from Ardelia tomorrow. It was her free day, but she didn't care. The more she investigated this whole strange deal, the more it gave her a reason to continue her efforts.

The strong scent at Clarice's house seemed to be stuck in her nostrils. She picked up her coffee mug and smelled the roasted smell, trying to forget what was plaguing her senses.

That smell was from a man, Ardelia was sure of it. But that was the thing that kept Ardelia awake: a man with Clarice.

As Clarice's roommate, Ardelia knew her love life like the back of her own hand. Clarice had never been in a serious relationship, and hadn't even kissed a man. Yet, she knew the strange dynamic she had had with the Monster.

Ardelia didn't want to think of his name. She feared him mostly because she knew he was still out there.

Perhaps Clarice was with Lec-

_No, Mapp. You wont think about that. This is Clarice we're talking about. Youll see the truth when it comes. You don't assume. This is your sister. _

She wrote down the addresses of the taxi companies and their phone numbers. Pacing around her small apartment, Ardelia felt a sense of dread as she could see a glimmer of sunset on the horizon.

* * *

Our lips parted, regret tasting on mine. His eyes still had that red to them but a dark passion surged throughout. They were the only things I could see as I ran, out of the villa and into the empty streets of the Civita. The cold morning breeze hit my face, tears stinging my eyes. There weren't many places to go in the small town, but I guess I just had to feel some heat in my lungs to wake me up from this dream.

This was real. Had the kiss been all a fake blur? No, it was real, also. Dr. Hannibal Lecter had kissed me. My first kiss.

And I had enjoyed it. I wanted it to happen again.

My head was hurting again as I stopped at a rural corner, the wall filled with beautiful vines. It was getting cloudy, and the air was getting chilly. Only a little sun came through the thick clouds. I missed the sun.

My chest was getting heavy, as the familiar pain in my head was growing stronger. I could feel the cold stone against my back. Unconsciously, I touched my lips. They shivered, but not from the morning cold.

I knew he wouldn't come looking for me. He would give me time. But was that what I needed…?

_You know…..this was coming. I knew it. You're his lover, Starling. You're a demon's harlot. Don't bother showing your face anymore. _

The voice echoed in my head, not helping the pain.

Suddenly, I understood why I was feeling how I felt at this moment.

Kissing Dr. Lecter felt right.

Breath, I told myself. I had to breath.

_He was a cannibal_. _You're first kiss was with a cannibal._

Screaming. There was that terrible screaming again. It wasn't just those awful lambs, it was everything.

_A Cannibal, Starling. He will consume you, physically and mentally. He already has. Look at you, huddled like a child. Your life has become nothing. Without your career, you are nothing. This is what he wanted to do: seduce you until you are nothing. A corpse. You'll let him,wont you? You don't car-_

Shut up. SHUT UP. NO.

I yelled into the ground, my hands holding my head. I was thankful I was alone. I must seem insane. My hands held my body for what seemed like an eternity.

What do I want? Better rephrased….what do I need?

…

Hours passed, sitting near the edge of the streets, looking toward the empty gardens. I sat on stone stairs, my thoughts keeping me busy as the day went by. I knew I should have returned to him, but not right now. I needed to think. Or at least, calm down.

The clouds passed above me, my heart beating slower until it was its usual heartbeat. I didn't know what time it was. My stomach was growing obnoxiously, as my head still beat like a drum. But I was calm.

I found myself walking again, trying to find my way back Dr. Lecter's villa. It wasn't very shocking to see no one around, only a few cats throughout the streets. The beauty seemed unreal, like a world in a dream.

Soon I found myself in front of the villa's door, and I knew he was there. He was waiting for me.

I hope he was waiting for me.

I held the doorknob, opening it and letting myself inside. Everything seemed untouched. Its beauty still took me by surprise. The door to the garden was open however.

As I walked through the door, I could see his back was towards me, looking unto the faint sunset.

I knew who I needed.


	17. Chapter 17

Hey readers! I wanted to thank you guys for sticking with me, even if I haven't updated in a while. I really appreciate it; it has been a busy August, moving into a new place and a new college. But I haven't forgotten about this story, of course. Thanks again.

Here's a new update! I'm happy I could update this; ill hopefully update again as soon as I can.

Please read and review; let me know what you think. I always love hearing feedback from you guys.

Okay enough babbling; enjoy!

Much love,

Xxoo

* * *

He turned to me with his usual grace, the wind running through his hair. The flowers on the vines were falling like a shower upon us.

The roaring of my heartbeat echoed in my head. It intensified as I could remember his lips on mine, ever so clearly. I knew I was blushing, and I knew he was aware of my thoughts.

He always knew.

"Clarice."

Doctor Lecter called out to me, a gentleness to his voice. It was strange; his voice had once filled me with both fear and panic. His mouth had swallowed his enemies.

_Like a Monster, Star-_

No. Not now. It was my turn.

I raised my hand slightly, trying to interrupt him politely.

It was my turn now.

I walked closer to him until be was only a few feet from me. My legs were shaking. Yet, knew I had to tell him, once and for all.

I couldn't run from it after all.

"You know, I never thought I'd be here. It such a causal phrase, but the truth is I never thought I'd enjoy this. Enjoy anything, really."

His head tilted slightly, watching my movements like a hawk upon its prey.

"Since I was kid, I thought maybe my life would start once I became an agent. My father would be proud of me. I would be proud of myself. There was nothing else but the FBI. "

My throat was growing dry. I could feel my eyes stinging. A flower fell on my hand; it was cold against my skin.

I looked into his dark burgundy eyes, watching me with the utmost attention. No one ever looked at me like that.

No one had cared before.

"Thats my life. But it isnt life, is it? It never was. They didn't want me, they only used me. After so many years of worshipping the institution...it was nothing..And I was just disposable meat..."

I couldn't suppress a bitter smile. I didn't even care if there were tears in the corner of my eyes. My mind was spinning again, the familiar pain bringing back the same painful memories. The realization had hit like the countless bullets that had been aimed at me for years. I had been nothing after all.

The only thing that mattered was him.

Behind bars he had seen me, with a thick glass he saw everything.

I don't have to hide anything from Doctor Lecter. I could be me happily.

It seemed like an eternity as I spilled the words out of my mouth.

"I don't need them, though. And they don't need me. But..."

The air hadnt changed temperature; it was my body, shaking but not of the cold. There was a warmness in my skull. I could feel beads of sweat on my forehead.

I met his eyes, still focused on me this entire time.

"Doctor, I just need you."

The words burned at my lips. Would I have said them eventually, after decades of negating everything?

As the truth had come out, I felt no guilt.

"You never needed to ask, darling."

His words shook me out of my world.

He walked toward me, so close I could smell his scent again, filling my nostrils with a smell that made my heart sing.

" If the FBI cannot see this greatness before them, then you cannot fix their blindness. You must live your life as you want to; it has been a burden but it can be a gift. I can help you unwrap this world around you, Clarice."

His eyes were shining with ferocity. His hands reached toward mine, stroking them calmly.

"Clarice, you are everything to me. You are my world and the heavens. I cannot live without my sun."

His lips touched my hand softly; admiration poured out of his lips, love dancing on his breath.

I couldn't keep lying to myself. Not anymore.

I looked up into the sky, the clouds moving steadily with the wind. Doctor Lecter's scent mixed with the scent of the flowers engulfed me. A tear fell from my cheek, flying along into the air.

I looked into his eyes again. I had chosen.

A fire filled my body as his lips found mine. He wrapped me in his arms; I was safe.

I had found my home.


End file.
